We are four sisters. At a time when having a son, in our society was what couples strived for, I think my parents were very forward thinking to have settled with us, their daughters.
While growing up, we never heard any regrets or comparisons.
Our family conversations after meals around the dining table, taken for granted, I realise- was a thing in only a few homes.
All four of us were encouraged to follow a path of our choosing and marry the person we chose too.
In my childhood that is what I thought was happening in every home. Only later I realised, the father of my friend who was very soft spoken yet so controlling, she would hide what she wanted to do or choose to wear. A very independent person, taking up after her intellectual mother, she kept the peace at home, by indulging in her desires away from home.
Another friend was being groomed right from her childhood to excel in house hold chores as she would be married off to the first ‘good boy’ the parents came across. Whether she liked the person, whether she wanted to do anything else besides getting married, no body asked her.
Another friend of mine was encouraged to follow her passion. She was a scientist, in fact she went on to win the ‘Young Scientist’ award for her commendable work.
Its not that we did not have rules or were not scolded or punished- but that discipline instilled in us at a young age has been our ‘North star’ guiding us in everyday routine work and also achieving our goals in our chosen paths. My mother would always say: What do you want to do? Go ahead and do it. Don’t worry we are with you. At a time where parents pressurised their children to become doctors and engineers, one of my sisters chose sports and reached the zenith in her field, while relinquishing her ‘Engineering course’. Another, a gifted dancer trained with top danseuse of the day and remains friends with her even today. She is also a top academician who earned the appreciation of her ‘Bosses’ in distant lands for her excellent management of clients and product development.
One of us inherited my mother’s passion for cooking, baking, arranging flowers. But, she keeps a home so beautiful, that her friends and guests feel they have walked into the sets of ‘Inside-Outside’. Needless to say she is a top manager in her firm.
We were encouraged to be good friends. In fact, all our friends recall my mom’s meals, my dad’s jokes and the helping hand all my sisters extended.
In our country where young girls are murdered even before they are born, tortured through their infancy and brutally raped by their own family members at times, I feel blessed that my parents were strong enough to turn a deaf ear to ‘Log kya kehenge’!
24th January is dedicated to girls and the blog hop curated by Manali and Sukaina is on the same theme, #Voices of Her. It got me to reflect on my own life and what makes it different. May more families find the strength to be together, and be the best they can be. In a country that worships Gods and Goddesses alike, in fact the female energy responsible for creation and protection- Shakti, is at times is valued more. Ironically some people would rather destroy a girl or woman to prove their strength. Lets change that. It is possible.
PS: This post is a part of ‘Voices of Her Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters blog hop series.
Pic: For representation only, courtesy Pixabay
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Parents play a major role in the shaping of children’s personalities. Girls are often not given due attention or freedom in our families. However, I should add that in my state, Kerala, there’s a lot of improvement in this regard.